Took a while to rotate them all 180 degrees...

Photos of our australia trip now on my smugmug site including my favourite shot of me...

Back to the treadmill

Treatment is over ! Had final scans (all clear) and told to go out and enjoy life. So not much more coming from me about the treatment now - there will be follow up scans every 4 months for a year, every 6 months in the following year, and then annually for another 8 years. But these are merely precautionary, so it's time to get back to...

Health ! I was doing pretty well, pulling my weight down to around 17 stone before all of this started. And after the surgery (dropping to 14 stone) and the chemo (keeping my weight level as it burned up caloires) I've now got back to a healthy state but a less healthy size again (over 18 stone). On top of this, been getting an inflamed back, probably from the lack of exercise, and not assisted by my tummy muscles recovering from 2 bought with the surgical knife.

So back to weekend running, weekday cycling to work and yoga for me ! And the dreaded Monday weigh ins - you should see a little graph on the right hand side now, nothing like a bit of public shame to kick start a good habit. On top of which, I feel a little winter snowboarding might be in order this season - one trip booked so far on Feb (to St Anton in Austria), but I feel another trip either State-side or Euro, would top that off nicely ! Anyone interested ?

All is well Down Under

Last month, I had a colonoscopy to check all was well in the bowels. I got to see were the section of bowel was removed - there were still staples inside by bowels ! Otherwise everything looked good, except for a small polyp which they burnt of and removed. It was confirmed as non-threatening just as I was boarding my plan for holidays, which was good news to start on ! Alas I did not manage to fly with Mimi though - she is on a standby ticket which saves about 75% of a normal ticket price, but means she cannot get on any flight that is fully booked, which my flight was.

So the last two and a bit weeks have been spent in Australia, catching up with Mimi's family and our friends. As we were staying with Mimi's brother, we got to spend some good time with his 4 month old son, Luca a.k.a "Munchie", who I have taken to calling "Cheeks" on account of his gorgeous big cheeks. Photos to come soon ! He is a beautiful baby, is very cute when he tries to talk, generally a happy boy and needless to say, he loves beardy kisses from Uncle Ben.

We were also very grateful that Luca's christening was arranged for when we were in Australia, so got to experience a Greek Orthodox service, as well as engage in the whirl of wine, food and loud chatter that is the Greek feast afterwards.

After all that, we needed some time for "us", so I insisted on dragging Mimi away for a day and a night to a surprise hotel / spa package. We had luxury massages, champagne and then some of the best food I've ever eaten at Da Noi - a Sardinian restaurant, which was followed by some quality movie action. After spending the next morning lounging in bed with breakfast we then headed out for a nice walk around the botanical gardens, where I had booked a picnic hamper with good food - and more champagne !

Not wanting to let the moment (and large amounts of champagne) slip by, I then bought out one last surprise for my sweetie - I got down on one knee and asked her to marry me. Fortunately, after a small period of shock and surprise from her, she said yes ! So the last few days have been spent by both of us getting used to this idea, and slowly spreading the news to family, friends and facebook :)

Heading back home tonight - alas potentially alone again, as the flight is looking full which means Mimi may need to wait until Sunday for her departure. But first of all, a big send off BBQ with "just the close family" - 15 to 20 people - to say goodbye and announce our wonderful news to those who haven't heard yet. For those back in the UK - see you soooon !

The road to recovery

A year ago today, someone put a camera somewhere one never expects a camera to go, and I saw my tumour for the first (and last) time; a week after that it was gone.

Now I am going through the final steps of recovery - the spots are still hanging around, esp. on my neck, but they are simply a small nuisance now. I had my portacath removed, so have a sore shoulder for a couple of weeks while that heals over. And I'm still quite tired in general, but slowly building up my hours at work.

But one thing the medical world will not allow is to be hurried along ! I still have a few little thing, like having the stitches out for the portacath removal in a fortnight, then one more invasion of the camera to check everything is working correctly internally at the end of the month, and finally two scans (CT and MRI) at the end of September to check everything looks clear.

So in truth, it never truely feels 100% over - after that scan, there will be regular check ups throughout the years to come. But I do feel I am through almost all of it now, and hopefully by the time I return from my upcoming holiday to Australia, I hope to be at full energy levels and working full time again. It can be somewhat demoralizing to work part-time, you feel a lot less valuable and can often feel marginalised, and whilst I'll miss the 9-10 hours of sleep a night, I am looking forward to it.

Head down and out the other side

After spending a lot of time around the house healing from my liver operation, I finally resumed chemo for the last two cycles. I really couldn't stand being back on the drugs - same horrid steroids to counter the horrid Oxaliplatin, but still being lreft with constant horrid nausea. Problem now being my body knew what was coming, so I was getting nauseous before I'd even had the drugs, psychosomatic effects I suppose.

So I decided to shell up, just get through each day, which was probably not the most uplifting thing I could have done for myself, but I guess I was thinking now about that light at the end of it all. And so here I am, two of the longest cycles over, still tired with LOTS of Cetuximab rash all over my head, scalp and body, just waiting for it all to die away and feel like a real boy again.

But I do remember the day, last Thursday, when my Oncologist confirmed that all the cycles were over, there were no more drugs to take, and the next step was an initial scan to confirm that everything has worked. I knew this was the next step, but hadn't realised how shut off I'd been getting there, so it was good to find myself smiling all day, and maybe even a few tears of happiness too.

It's coming up to a year since my diagnosis, and I think by the time the side effects have mostly worn off it will be a full year. It has not been a year defined by cancer - I wanted to make sure of that and be lucky to have enough support to carry it through - but I am already looking back over it thinking "wow, how did I get through all that without freaking out". I guess the answer has always been "one day at a time", but without the love and support I've felt from friends, family, and the many wonderful people on this forum, I suspect each of those days would not have been half as bright.

Missing the point

Forgive the stupid title, but I an pleased to announce that I am due no more injections !! The chemo process is only 5 days (and 40 pink pills) from being fully over.

This leaves just a couple of tidy up tasks; removing my portacath and a post-operative scan. After this I'm into the longer term monitoring phase, with occasional scans and blood tests, and perhaps a colonoscopy every few years.

For now, it's finally feeling "over", even though I am currently being swarmed by painful spots once more - hopefully for via last time, although the drugs can hang about for quite a few weeks. Once I'm through all that with a little more energy, I might have to have a small gathering, perhaps with a few drinks involved ;)

As for tonight, it's the banking industry's charity run in Battersea park. Wasn't too sure of my physical capabilities, but figure I can always walk most of it if need be (plenty of medically fit bankers do this anyway) ! Thanks to several generous sponsors, I've already hit my target, but please feel free to offer any final pledges today.

Otherwise save the money for something bubbly later this month :)

...I can't stop smiling :)